The Politically Incorrect Mom


Thursday, October 13, 2005

I Just Don't Know About This One...

Ok, here’s something I can’t understand! Where’s the ACLU on this one???

A Pennsylvania basketball coach was sentenced to up to 30 years in prison for having a sexual relationship with a 15 year-old girl. Seems Mr. Troy May, who knew his victim, began his relationship by way of instant message on the computer and then took it to a physical level and continued to have sex with the young lady for an entire summer. The young lady visited him at his home while his wife and children were away and also accompanied him to local hotels for sex. Once school started back up, she called the police and reported this as a crime.

You all know how I feel about sexual predators. If it were my child…the judicial system would save a lot of money because the dirt bag would never make it to court – but, for those who engage in sexual activities with minors, and the victim’s parents do not take matters into their own hands - I do believe the punishment should fit the crime.

I’m never sure what to think of teacher-student relationships. That is, with regard to those relationships with teenagers. They are, of course, inappropriate and disgusting. I can’t imagine what must go through a teachers head when they are attracted to a teenager, but at the same time, I think there are things in these cases that should be taken into consideration that might not go into the equation when we are talking about a child who is molested at a young age, abducted and raped, or some other violent crime. When we’re talking about a teenaged kid who is in what they believe to be a “relationship” with a teacher or a coach – while I believe that any adult – teacher or not – should be punished for having sexual contact with a minor, I am not sure I believe that case by case, these situations should be treated the same as a Heinz 57 sexual predator case.

Take the female versions of this case that we’ve been hearing so much about lately. 28 year-old Pamela Rogers had sex with her 13 year-old student and got 9 months in jail. 32 year-old Amber Jennings had sex with her 16 year-old student and got 2 years of probation. 42 year-old Sandra Geisel had sex with her 16 year-old student and got 6 months in jail. I have read NOTHING in the media that indicated these women will have to register as sex offenders when they are finished with their punishments, but in the Pennsylvania case of Mr. May, he may serve 30 years in prison and if he actually gets out of jail before he’s dead, he’ll have to register as a sex offender.

Did he cross the line? Absolutely! Should he be punished? You betcha! Was this a cut and dry case of a sexual predator preying on a young, innocent girl? Aaaaaaah, I dunno.

Look at the facts of the case. The girl was 15 years old. She flirted with the guy on the Internet until she got up the nerve to meet him for sex. Then...she MET HIM FOR SEX. She then continued to meet the man for sex in a variety of places throughout the summer. The summer-time, folks…when she would have been able to avoid him the most (no basketball practice during the summer!). Some how the kid’s parents were oblivious enough to her whereabouts to have allowed her to be running around with a 35 year-old married man for the entire summer.

I know I’m going to get hate mail for this, so I’ll end my rant with this statement. I have daughters. One of my daughters is a teenager – the other is in college (she and I both managed to live through her teenage-hood). First, I know where my kids are. I know where my kids are all the time. I don’t let them run around with people I don’t absolutely trust to be taking care of her. I’ve had people tell me I’m crazy if I think I really know where my kids are all the time – but there is no doubt in my mind…..I know. Second, if one of my daughters was accosted and raped, I would wipe the piece of garbage that hurt my daughter off the planet. If, however, I learned that my mid-to-upper teenaged daughter was having a sexual relationship with an older, married man, unless there was evidence that he tied her up and threatened her life if she told anyone – I would have to take several things into consideration…including…no, ESPECIALLY my daughter’s promiscuity. Teenagers are children in many ways – but have you had a look at the way “average” 15 year-olds look and act these days? It’s frightening. I am NOT blaming the victim OR pardoning the offender. I just wonder if the victim felt victimized when the relationship was going on.

Everyone wants their child to fit in. We don’t want them to be made fun of or not be part of the popular crowd – so kids are allowed to become more and more like adults…earlier and earlier. They dress, act and party like adults. They are given cell phones, Internet and PDF’s. They’re given way too much rope – plenty to hang themselves with – and then when they do, they aren’t handed the accountability that should go along with it and obviously parents are not taking the accountability that belongs to them either.

This is a picture of most 15 year-old girls role model – when SHE was 15 years old. Doesn’t look much like a child, does it?

More on this...
I think it's worth noting that the defendant pled guilty to all charges, which did NOT include kidnapping or unlawful restraint. Has been repentant (if that's possible) and has never denied having an affair with the girl. The county in which this "crime" took place left no stone un-turned in trying to find another victim and was unable to do so. So, it doesn't appear that this guy has a history of this type of behavior. The judge, who is notorious for his habitual disregard of sentencing guidelines and ridiculous "wrath of
Madenspacher" dissertations given at the time of sentencing had this to say,
"Had the victim been an adult, May’s actions could have been described as courting, but in this circumstance it was “grooming.’’

The "grooming" Judge Madenspacher refers to is the coach having
complimented the girl's athletic ability and building trust beginning when she was in middle school. So, coaches beware - what used to be called positive reinforcement is now considered "grooming your victim".
Again, what this guy did was very, VERY wrong....but 30 years? Come on!


  • At 8:48 PM, October 13, 2005, Blogger Dad29 said…

    Who SAYS life is fair?

    ...and it gets worse. The acres of T&A that now flow from the TV screen (in shows like 'Survivor,' for crying out loud) are an assault on decent people everywhere.

    Even police action-shows are now showing boobs, when we all thought that the shows were supposed to be about forensics evidence. Old Quincy never needed to flash chest-hairs to solve the case...

  • At 9:00 PM, October 13, 2005, Blogger P.I. Mom said…

    You are absolutely correct! Society has created teenagers who think they know how to act like adults (and can't handle it) and adults who can't tell the difference between a teenager and an adult.

    It really ticks me off, though, that the parents take absolutely no responsibility in this.


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